The Real Reason You're Stuck in Your Fitness Journey
You’ve lost weight. You’re stronger than last month. You’re finally consistent. Let’s go.
Cue the parade. Drop the confetti. High-five strangers in the street. You’ve done the hard part—you stuck with it. By all accounts, you should feel unstoppable.
But you don’t. Something still feels off.
Even with all the positive changes, it doesn’t feel like enough. One scroll and your progress disappears—replaced by someone else’s abs, meal prep, or “10-week transformation.” Suddenly you forget the work you’ve put in and wonder if you’re even moving fast enough.
And here’s the key: there’s one major reason you don’t feel satisfied—and it has nothing to do with your actual progress.
The Comparison Trap
I was re-reading one of my favorite books, Same As Ever by Morgan Housel, and one lesson stood out: people often feel like they’re losing—even while they’re doing better than ever.
In the 1950s, comparison was local—neighbors, coworkers, your community. Expectations were grounded and realistic.
Today the median household income is more than double what it was then (inflation-adjusted). Most people live with comforts that would’ve looked like luxury back then—bigger homes, safer cars, longer lives, more access to food and travel. By almost any measure, we’re better off.
And yet? Many people feel worse. Not because life got harder—but because comparison got louder.
We no longer measure ourselves against the people next door. We measure against the top 1% of filtered perfection—abs, vacations, cars, lifestyles on repeat. Because it’s not about how you’re doing. It’s about who you’re watching while you’re doing it.
And nowhere is that clearer than in fitness.
You can train consistently, eat better, sleep more, build strength, lose fat—and still feel behind. Not because your progress is slow, but because you’re comparing Week 6 of your journey to Year 10 of someone else’s.
When your reference point is a highlight reel, your real progress will never feel like enough.
And That Comparison Has a Cost
It doesn’t just make you feel worse. It changes how you act:
You second-guess progress that’s working.
You chase shortcuts and burn out.
You lose confidence—and consistency with it.
You copy routines you don’t need.
Comparison doesn’t just slow progress. It poisons it.
So How Do You Stay Focused in a World Built for Comparison?
Here are five mindset shifts I coach clients on—the ones that keep them consistent for years, not weeks.
1️⃣ Audit Your Inputs
What you see every day becomes your normal.
If your feed is full of shredded influencers and 6% body fat “coaches,” you’ll always feel behind. The truth? Half of them are selling supplements, the other half are editing their photos. When you curate your environment, small wins—like a 10-pound bench PR or losing 3 pounds in a month—actually feel worth celebrating.
What you can do this week: Unfollow or mute 5 accounts that make you feel anxious, behind, or “less than.” Replace them with accounts that educate, encourage, or make you laugh.
2️⃣ Track What Actually Matters
The scale lies.
A bad weigh-in after pizza doesn’t erase weeks of strength gains or better sleep. Your body is changing in ways the mirror won’t show right away. What matters: strength, energy, sleep, consistency, and how you feel in your skin.
Those signals point to real, sustainable change.
What you can do this week: Write down 3 non-scale wins at the end of the week. Examples: hit your protein target, slept 7 hours, lifted heavier on squats.
3️⃣ Respect the Timeline
The best bodies you see online? They were built over years, not weeks.
Rushing leads to crash diets, burnout, and starting over. Slowing down leads to momentum that sticks. You don’t need abs in 30 days—you need habits that hold up for 30 years.
What you can do this week: Zoom out. Write one fitness goal you want to hit 12 months from now. Then write one small habit that gets you closer this week.
4️⃣ Compare Only to Your Past Self
The only fair comparison is you vs. you.
Last year’s lifts, last month’s habits, last week’s energy. That’s your real scoreboard. Anyone else’s highlight reel? Irrelevant.
Progress measured against your own baseline is the only kind that counts.
What you can do this week: Look back 6–12 months. What are 3 things you can do now that you couldn’t before? Write them down and keep them visible.
5️⃣ Trade Self-Judgment for Self-Respect
You don’t have to earn your worth from the mirror.
You’ve already earned respect by showing up. Most people never even try. Every workout, every walk, every choice to cook instead of order takeout is proof you’re investing in yourself.
Focus on the wins and celebrate them!
What you can do this week: End each day by writing one thing you did for your health—big or small. Call it your “respect list.” Over time, it shifts your focus from judgment to credit.
Play Your Own Game
Comparison is built into modern life—just like distraction, burnout, and that nagging sense you’re always behind.
The fix isn’t grinding harder. It’s shifting your focus. You’re not behind. You’re measuring against the wrong scoreboard.
Focus on your own scoreboard, and the game gets a lot easier to win.
Best,
John
P.S. All sourdough and smiles here in the Solokas household.
3 Steps You Can Take
Apply for coaching - If you’re ready to start, you can fill out a coaching application here (it takes 90 seconds or less). Best case, you change your life. Worst case, I’ll help you draw up a road map to get closer to your goals.
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Keep learning - You can check out my other articles here. Nobody asked me to, but I’ve spent a ton of time researching everything from artificial sweeteners to saturated fat to testosterone and more, so you don’t have to.
