He Quit Lifting After 3 Months. Here’s What I Told Him.
He was 15.
A high school lacrosse player with a sore shoulder, a good attitude, and one of the most glorious afros I’ve ever seen
About five minutes into his eval, I asked him something I ask nearly every young athlete who walks into the clinic: “You ever do any strength training?”
He didn’t hesitate:
“Yeah, for a bit. I tried it for a few months, but I wasn’t really seeing results… so I stopped.”
Now, I’ve heard versions of that answer dozens of times. But this one hit different. Maybe because he was so young. Maybe because I saw so much of me in him.
I sat up a little straighter, looked him in the eye, and gave him the kind of talk that doesn’t usually happen in a shoulder eval:
“Dude—no. Listen to me. It takes way longer than you want it to. You might not see anything for months. But if you stay with it—if you train consistently through high school—you’ll be ahead in everything. Not just sports. Life. Confidence. Work ethic. How you handle setbacks. All of it.”
He nodded. Said he’s getting back into it this summer with a friend.Will he actually stick with it? I don’t know.
But I gave it my best shot.
That five-minute conversation reminded me of one of the biggest lessons lifting ever taught me:
The discipline to show up—especially when it feels like nothing’s working—changed my life.
I started lifting at 13. For the first six months, I didn’t get stronger. It took two full years before it helped my football performance. Four years before anyone outside my family even noticed a difference.
But eventually, it worked.
No hacks. No viral programs. Just steady effort, learning from people smarter than me, and showing up—even when it felt pointless.
That kind of discipline requires what I call selective focus. You have to be a little “dumb,” in the best way. Dumb enough to keep showing up, even when nothing’s changing. Dumb enough to ignore the voice in your head saying, “This isn’t working—try something else.”
Because the patient lifter—the one who stays in the game long enough—wins.
And when progress finally shows up, it snowballs. Not just because your body changes, but because you proved you could stick with something hard. You didn’t quit.
And that lesson—putting in work now without needing quick results—has shaped everything in my life.
Want to be a physical therapist?
That’s seven years of school, thousands of hours studying and shadowing, and over $100K in tuition. But in the end? A career that’s fulfilling, meaningful, and fun.
Want to build an online coaching business?
Start by writing for free. Train people at $8.50/hour. It was uncomfortable and uncertain for a long time—but now it’s a flexible, fulfilling way to help people at scale.
Want strong relationships?
That’s showing up. Having hard conversations. Choosing connection over comfort. But what you build lasts.
Want to build wealth?
It’s not meme stocks. It’s boring. Monthly contributions. Staying the course. But compound growth doesn’t miss.
Every good thing in my life traces back to that one skill: Doing the work for a long time—even when nothing seems to be happening.
So why share all this? Two reasons:
First, we live in a world wired for instant gratification. If you can delay the need for quick wins, you already stand out. That mindset is rare—and powerful.
Second, fitness is a vehicle for growth. Sure, it changes your body. But it also rewires your brain. Not through loud “grind harder” slogans—but through quiet consistency. Small habits. Repeated. Over 5, 10, even 30 years.
Thinking about quitting?
If it feels slow, good!
That means you’re not chasing shortcuts. You’re laying down something real. And real takes time.
Most people bail when it’s boring. When the hype fades. When the progress isn’t obvious. But if you can keep going then?
You don’t just get results—you become the kind of person who earns them.
Best,
John
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