Why Your Mindset About Food Might Be Holding You Back
I came across a quote from Oliver Burkman recently that stopped me in my tracks:
“The effort to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable. And it is our constant efforts to eliminate the negative—insecurities, uncertainties, failures, or sadness—that causes us to feel so insecure, anxious, uncertain, or unhappy.”
Dang, that hit hard!
Because when it comes to fitness, it’s not just the choices that cause stress. It’s how we think about those choices.
🍪 It’s Not the Cookie. It’s the Guilt Spiral.
You miss a workout? No problem. Convincing yourself you’ve failed? That’s the real issue.
You eat something “off-plan”? Also not a problem. The guilt, the overcorrection, the “I’ll just start over Monday” mindset?
That’s what derails progress.
💡 What If You Stopped Chasing Perfection?
Instead of trying to eliminate every “bad” choice…What if you focused on alignment instead?
Not:
“Was this good or bad?”
But:
“Does this support the life I want to build?” That one question changes everything.
✅ The Goal Is Alignment—Not Perfection
Here’s what alignment actually looks like:
Making conscious, values-based decisions
Staying consistent (even when life isn’t perfect)
Recovering fast without guilt
Building trust with yourself
When your choices reflect your goals and priorities, you create a feedback loop that works.
Not because you’re perfect—but because you’re aligned.
🧠 3 Ways to Practice Alignment This Week
1. Change how you talk about food.
Drop the guilt language.
Stop saying:
“I was bad today”
“I cheated on my diet”
Try saying:
🟢 “This fits my goals today”
🟡 “This was a conscious choice”
🔴 “That didn’t serve me—and I’ll adjust.”
Language shapes identity. Choose words that reinforce trust, not shame.
2. Use the alignment filter daily.
Before your next meal, workout, or skipped workout, ask:
“Is this aligned with what I want long-term?”
This 5-second pause builds self-awareness and eliminates emotional reactivity.
3. Reflect—without judgment.
At the end of the day, review 1–2 key decisions. Were they aligned? If not, why?
No shame. Just data.
This is how you build a system that actually improves over time.
📈 Real Example: Alignment > Perfection
One of my clients, Aubrey, has dropped nearly 40 pounds so far in 2025.
Then came a family reunion: BBQ. Soda. Cakes everywhere. Calories? Unknown. Vibes? Off the charts. But here’s the thing: we planned for it. It wasn’t going to be a perfect “health day”—but it was absolutely aligned with his values.
On Sunday? No guilt. No restriction. No fasting while praying to the Shredded Overlords of Macros and Morality.
Just:
➡️ Back to the plan
➡️ Normal food
➡️ Normal workouts
➡️ No drama
That’s alignment. And it’s working—because he’s not chasing perfection. He’s building momentum with a long-term view.
🧭 The Bottom Line
You don’t need to be perfect to make progress. You just need to make aligned choices—consistently, and without all the guilt.
Slow down before your next decision. Ask: “Does this support the life I want to build?” Then act accordingly—and move on.
Try just one small shift this week:
Maybe it’s changing how you talk about food.
Maybe it’s pausing before an impulse choice.
Maybe it’s reflecting on one decision each night—without judgment.
Maybe it’s adjusting your plan to fit your actual schedule, not your ideal one.
Chances are, it’ll feel a lot more freeing—and a lot more sustainable.
Best,
John
P.S. Ready to Build Momentum Before the Chaos?
I don’t pitch coaching every week—because honestly, it’s only the right fit for a handful of you at this point in your journey.
But on August 15, I’m opening up my biggest coaching offer of the year:
🥧 Healthy for the Holidays
Healthy for the Holidays is a 12-week coaching experience designed to help you stay consistent, lose fat, and feel in control—before the holiday madness kicks in.
Spots are limited (and early access goes to my email list first), but if you grab one, here’s what you get:
🎁 Save $300 on 3 months of high-level coaching
🎁 Bonus #1: Holiday Survival Toolkit – meals, drink tips, and social strategies that actually work
🎁 Bonus #2: Restaurant + Travel Nutrition Guide – stay dialed in anywhere
🎁 Bonus #3: Free 1-on-1 Strategy Call – for the first 5 sign-ups
🎁 A proven plan to carry you through the holidays with results and your sanity intact
Plus: Try it risk-free with my full money-back guarantee.
Show up and follow the plan. If you don’t feel better, leaner, and more in control by Week 4, I’ll give you a full refund—no questions asked.
Best,
John
3 Steps You Can Take
Apply for coaching - If you’re ready to start, you can fill out a coaching application here (it takes 90 seconds or less). Best case, you change your life. Worst case, I’ll help you draw up a road map to get closer to your goals.
Sign up for my newsletter - If you’d like to hear more, sign up for my mailing list here.
Keep learning - You can check out my other articles here. Nobody asked me to, but I’ve spent a ton of time researching everything from artificial sweeteners to saturated fat to testosterone and more, so you don’t have to.
