Want to Fail Your Fitness Resolutions In 2026? Do These 3 Things
New Year’s is a terrible time to reinvent yourself.
Mid-December hits, the holidays are in full swing, and you’re knee deep in cinnamon rolls, travel stress, and family group chats. The last thing on your mind is a fitness plan for 2026. So most people wait until the foggy morning of January 1st—hungover, overfed, and wildly motivated—to “change everything.”
They launch into a new lifestyle with all the reckless optimism of the Titanic leaving Southampton - full steam ahead, unshakeable confidence, but no clue what’s lurking in the water.
Here’s a quick 3-step guide on how to completely botch your fitness goals this year—so you can avoid doing exactly that.
Step 1: Set Unrealistic Goals and Expect Instant Results
Why set yourself up for success when you can set yourself up for total disaster?
The fastest way to fail is to set goals so far out of reach they might as well be in a different time zone. Lose 20 pounds in two weeks? Sure. Fit into your high school jeans by the end of the month? Why not. Nothing screams “success” like wildly unrealistic expectations.
The trick is picking goals that sound impressive but are physically impossible. You’ll crush it for a few days, then slam into a wall of frustration and disappointment.
From there, it’s a short, familiar slide into “maybe next year.”
Step 2: Starve Yourself and Chase the Burn
Now that you've set unrealistic goals, let’s double down by barely eating.
Forget fueling your body. Just slash calories, skip meals, and survive on willpower (and maybe lemon water). When the hunger hits? Drink more water and pretend it’s food. You’ll love the constant brain fog, low energy, and the thrilling struggle of lifting anything heavier than a pencil.
And workouts? Go full punishment mode. Hours of cardio. Sweat-drenched misery. Forget strength, forget progress—just burn, baby, burn.
Because remember: the goal isn’t to feel good or get strong—it’s to suffer without results.
Step 3: Overtrain Like Crazy, Then Quit When It Doesn’t Work
Now that you’re exhausted, starving, and miserable, it’s time to finish strong with some good ol’ overtraining.
Forget rest. Forget recovery. Just push harder. If you’re not collapsing post-workout, are you even trying?
Soon enough, you’ll hit a wall: drained from the workouts, starving from undereating, and confused why nothing’s changing. Eventually, you’ll shrug and say, “Maybe fitness just isn’t for me.” Must be genetics, right? (Spoiler: it’s not—it’s your strategy.)
A few more joyless weeks on the struggle bus, and you’re out. Maybe next year.
3 Simple Steps to Crush Your Fitness Goals in 2026
Now you know what not to do. Here are 3 steps to actually make progress in 2026.
Step 1: Set Realistic Goals and Play the Long Game
We all want results yesterday. Totally normal.
But real, lasting change? That takes time. Skip the crash goals. Instead, aim for progress you can actually sustain over 3–6 months.
Think:
➤ “Gain 5 pounds of lean muscle.”
➤ “Add 50 pounds to my squat.”
➤ “Hit 10,000 steps a day, 5x a week.”
These are clear, doable, and most importantly—realistic. They won’t overwhelm you, and they won’t burn you out by week two.
It’s all about building habits that stick, not chasing after unrealistic, short-term results.
Step 2: Train to Build
When you walk into the gym, don’t just think “How many calories can I burn?” Think: How strong can I get? How can I build a body that lasts?
Muscle is the foundation. It boosts your metabolism, protects your joints, and gives you that lean, athletic look most people are chasing. Start with 2–3 strength sessions a week. Focus on big, compound lifts—squats, deadlifts, presses, rows, pull-ups. These hit multiple muscle groups and give you serious return on your effort.
But here's the twist: you need to eat enough to fuel your progress.
Make sure you're eating enough protein to support muscle growth - about 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight. Both carbs and fats are crucial, too. Eating enough to fuel your muscles is the secret to avoiding that sluggish, “I feel like a zombie” feeling.
Train hard. Fuel well. And your body will reward you with more energy, better results, and progress that actually sticks.
Step 3: Get Excited When It’s ACTUALLY Working!
This is the part where it all clicks.
Your body will start to reflect all the efforts you’ve been putting in, and you’ll start to notice changes that are more than just physical. You’ll be eating more food. You’re not dragging through the day or dreading the gym. You feel strong. Clear-headed. Capable.
This is when my clients stop saying, “I hope it’s working” and start saying, ”“You gotta be freakin kidding me, John - I’m finally seeing results!!”
And the best part?
It’ll feel easier than it ever has before because you’re doing the right things. The hard work is no longer exhausting and frustrating. It’s empowering and motivating. Each workout feels like progress. Each meal fuels your goals.
And all that effort?
It's no longer wasted on the wrong things. It’s building something that lasts.
Start Strong, Stay Strong in 2026
It’s time to stop chasing quick fixes and start building real, sustainable habits that last well beyond January 1st.
Set realistic goals. Train and eat to build muscle. And when you do? You’ll look back at 2025 as the year everything changed.
To help you get started, I’ve got an early Christmas gift for you:
📘 My FREE New Year’s Kickstart Ebook
Yes, I originally wrote it in the winter of 2023—but here’s the thing:
Human behavior hasn’t changed.
Physics hasn’t changed.
And the workouts still work.
Download it below 👇
Let’s make this the year you take control of your health, build serious momentum, and change the trajectory of your life.
Best,
John
P.S. Did you know John Candy improvised all his lines in Home Alone?!
3 Steps You Can Take
Apply for coaching - If you’re ready to start, you can fill out a coaching application here (it takes 90 seconds or less). Best case, you change your life. Worst case, I’ll help you draw up a road map to get closer to your goals.
Sign up for my newsletter - If you’d like to hear more, sign up for my mailing list here.
Keep learning - You can check out my other articles here. Nobody asked me to, but I’ve spent a ton of time researching everything from artificial sweeteners to saturated fat to testosterone and more, so you don’t have to.
